she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he fucked my hip out of place.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
