I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
