I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
