So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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