Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
