I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I am mentally ready for anal.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
