The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
