tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize