Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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