he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
