the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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