You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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