he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
