I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
