So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
