i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
so much tequila, so little girl.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize