Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
