woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
