Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize