my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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