Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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