all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize