hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
40s are totally the cure
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize