Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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