One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
