I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
