Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
