went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I touched a dick in church today
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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