Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
