Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
barbara walters just said penis...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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