How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
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