why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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