I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
