My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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