porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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