you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
