we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize