Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
