Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I bet he comes in French.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just gargled with NyQuil
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
