It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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