I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize