I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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