I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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