Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize