I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
