I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
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