No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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