can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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