Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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