GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
