I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
