Sry I called you an 8
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
