I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
