Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
