I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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