my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
