Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
