cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
