If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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