i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
