I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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