dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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