My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I love you. Go after that dick
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
