paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
