Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
