A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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