can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Randomize
