Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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