lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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