1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he wants to bone in the snuggie
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
