dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
