that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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