I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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