So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Success! We fucked roommates!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
